I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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