all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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