You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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