office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
