in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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