Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize