How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
