I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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