Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
