Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
