so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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