so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
