And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
