Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
