so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
