idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize