i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He better not be in your backpack
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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