I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
