So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
