yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
