Old men and throwing up are my life now.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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