Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize