Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
