Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
