are you so shy because you have an std?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
