When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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