Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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