3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
