what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
