My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
