the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Your shirt... Was in my pants
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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