i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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