At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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