JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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