We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
