you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
