Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The uberlube is also flammable
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
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