tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
