I got chris browned last night
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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