these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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