Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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