Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
