Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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