I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
