I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
