Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
