Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she smelled like a LAN party
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
