I think I am morally bankrupt
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
