Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
