I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
