I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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