I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
