Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
