i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
