its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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