It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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