I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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