i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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