Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
