god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
