sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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