He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
