i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
