I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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