super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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