He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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