yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i will never coherently bang her
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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