I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
