you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
