I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
