HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
