so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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