Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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