My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
