i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
