Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he was CRYING into my vagina
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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