that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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