There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
