STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
