I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
