do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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