My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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