i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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