Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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