I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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