Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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