Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
being pregnant is like rehab
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
